Well, I thought I would post another update on another ordinary day in the life of the Nelsons. We are getting into a great routine...I am all about schedule/routine if you couldn't tell by now. Jake is doing great and is more and more comfortable each day. Actually, if you didn't know us, you might think he has been with us forever. He is soooo happy every morning I wake him up and gives the most warm hugs you can imagine. He raises his head and looks at me to give me a kiss and buries his head back into my shoulder. Often he will just look at me and say "MaMA"...and I say, "YES, I AM your MaMa!". Can you even imagine a better way to start your day? Luke loves to be the first one in his room and says in a real high pitch voice, "Hi buddy!" Jake has learned to say approximately 10 words in English but understands a lot more of what we are saying. He is using some sign to communicate and it has helped his frustrations tremendously. His tantrums and hitting/biting episodes still occur but much much less (thank goodness).
Jake is still quite the ham. Every time we take him somewhere he waves and says loudly "HI HI" and then immediately starts blowing kisses to everyone. He loves the reaction he gets from everyone....all the ooohs and aaaahs. He loves to act silly and even when he does something bad he will look at us knowing we are displeased and smile big with his teeth showing and squint his eyes and give us this big look of "CHEEEEESE"....and like "how could anyone be upset with a cute silly fella like me?"!!!
We had the honor of speaking at a local CHI meeting Sunday afternoon and share our adoption story with some families. It was fun for everyone to see Jake too. He is quite the celebrity lately b/c everywhere we go someone will say, "Weren't you all on tv over the holidays?" Many people have recognized him around town and he doesn't shy away from the attention!
Now for the part that many of you will be a little uncomfortable with....
I got a call today from an individual I have never spoken with or met before. They live across the country but have been in contact with Tam Bihn 1 orphanage from their own personal adoption experience. They have become friends with the directors there b/c he is Vietnamese too and have kept in contact with them. The lady who loved Jake as her own got in contact with him and asked him to call me and check on Jake today. She is wanting updates and to keep in contact. Although somewhat reluctant to keep too close of contact, I do understand what she is going through. I gave him an update and he said he would contact her to tell her he is happy and bonding strongly with his new forever family. I pray it will give her some peace and comfort knowing that he has a family who loves him deeply and feels like God placed him in our lives with a great purpose. We have all committed to love him and provide a wonderful life for him.....we truly feel like he has been with us forever! Of course the first week was hard on everyone...but was to be expected. It is amazing how quickly he has adjusted and knows we are here for him forever.
Each night I rock him he just melts on me and before he goes to bed I sit him up and have him look at me and I take his hands and place them on me and say "Mama" . I then take his hands and place them on my heart and then hug him and say ,"LOVES"....and then I take his hands and place them on him and say "JAKE". He loves when I do this but is so calm as if he truly understands what I am saying and is soaking it completely up. Every time I rock him I can't help but think about the first 18 months of his life and how I wish I could have been there for him. I think about his past and I also think about his future. Tonight I kept whispering "Mama loves Jake" in his ear and he gave me a big hug and kissed me before I layed him down. I cannot even put into words how it makes me feel. I almost feel guilty saying that before I adopted I didn't know how the love would compare between a child I gave birth to and a child that we adopted. However, I can say with complete honesty, the love is no different. It may have taken me an extra week to feel "bonded" with him but I can tell you that even though I personally did not give him the "gift of life" I know and believe that God gave us the gift of Jake.
Have a wonderful week. Natalie
"For He planned in love for us to be adopted as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will." Ephesians 1:5
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Life is Great!
Things are finally coming together at the Nelson house! I am getting a routine together and things are going smoothly. Jake is doing AWESOME and he is so happy to fit right in....he was never too shy about it! :) Luke and Jake finally decided today that they were going to be buddies. They played together all day and had no problems. Now that the girls have started back to school it has finally hit them that it is just "us two brothers so we might as well have fun!". They are both on a great play, eat and nap schedule and I actually got some time today to pick up the house and do some laundry...it made me feel great. On top of that, I got my makeup on, hair curled and dressed at a decent time (I won't mention the time...but hey....it happened!)
The kids and I went to see my parents over New Year's (Rick was on call) and Jake got to meet all of his cousins and aunts and uncles (minus Jeff...but soon). He had no problem warming up to everyone and ended up playing in the play room with all the big guys each day. I really believe he sensed it was "all family" and was so at ease. I think everyone fell in love with him (and Jake knows it!....he likes to put on a show and make everyone laugh!).
He is such a great eater and takes a wonderful nap and goes to bed perfectly. He loves his bath but we are still battling brushing his teeth. He adjusted to the carseat and highchair beautifully too. I work hard every day to teach him that hitting, biting and tantrums aren't acceptable and we have worked on finding new outlets to let him show us when he is frustrated....I am telling you there has been some major improvements. He is bonding with me wonderfully....I think having Rick back at work forced him to come to me and trust me and meet all his daily needs. Last night he wanted me instead of dada!!!! YEA! We are working on his language and he has learned mama, dada, more (for food) , down(when he is done eating) , ball (thank you aunt Julie), hi and bye! He freely gives us lots of kisses and blows kisses and he LOVES to dance. He says many other things but I think they are in Vietnamese.... he will sign to us what he wants. Today when we went to pick up the girls from school he got so excited when he saw them he started yelling "YEA YEA YEA"! Once we got home, they all four took off upstairs playing together. It is amazing how well he has adjusted in such a short time. To be perfectly honest, the first few days were a little stressful, and I was unsure how well things would go. We have prayed everyday for guidance and patience and God has been very good to all of us. He always knows our needs and always has His perfect timing. We feel so blessed to have Jake in our lives. He has brought so much to each of us and he reminds us every day that love has no boundaries or borders. I love being a mother of four...life is certainly a lot more messy, chaotic and unorganized and I am learning to accept it joyfully! It is also more full of laughter, smiles, patience, hugs and kisses and I accept that joyfully too. Rick is threatening to hang a sign over our family room that says, "Nelson Daycare"....b/c that is what it looks like! I love it! Life is great!
The kids and I went to see my parents over New Year's (Rick was on call) and Jake got to meet all of his cousins and aunts and uncles (minus Jeff...but soon). He had no problem warming up to everyone and ended up playing in the play room with all the big guys each day. I really believe he sensed it was "all family" and was so at ease. I think everyone fell in love with him (and Jake knows it!....he likes to put on a show and make everyone laugh!).
He is such a great eater and takes a wonderful nap and goes to bed perfectly. He loves his bath but we are still battling brushing his teeth. He adjusted to the carseat and highchair beautifully too. I work hard every day to teach him that hitting, biting and tantrums aren't acceptable and we have worked on finding new outlets to let him show us when he is frustrated....I am telling you there has been some major improvements. He is bonding with me wonderfully....I think having Rick back at work forced him to come to me and trust me and meet all his daily needs. Last night he wanted me instead of dada!!!! YEA! We are working on his language and he has learned mama, dada, more (for food) , down(when he is done eating) , ball (thank you aunt Julie), hi and bye! He freely gives us lots of kisses and blows kisses and he LOVES to dance. He says many other things but I think they are in Vietnamese.... he will sign to us what he wants. Today when we went to pick up the girls from school he got so excited when he saw them he started yelling "YEA YEA YEA"! Once we got home, they all four took off upstairs playing together. It is amazing how well he has adjusted in such a short time. To be perfectly honest, the first few days were a little stressful, and I was unsure how well things would go. We have prayed everyday for guidance and patience and God has been very good to all of us. He always knows our needs and always has His perfect timing. We feel so blessed to have Jake in our lives. He has brought so much to each of us and he reminds us every day that love has no boundaries or borders. I love being a mother of four...life is certainly a lot more messy, chaotic and unorganized and I am learning to accept it joyfully! It is also more full of laughter, smiles, patience, hugs and kisses and I accept that joyfully too. Rick is threatening to hang a sign over our family room that says, "Nelson Daycare"....b/c that is what it looks like! I love it! Life is great!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Happy New Year
Jake is really adjusting better each day. He is a very happy little guy and is starting to realize that there is "6" of it in his new forever family. He couldn't quite understand in the beginning why we were all here....."shouldn't it just be me and daddy?" was the look he had for the first couple of days. He will now let me feed him, hold him and put him down for his naps and bedtime. He hasn't even cried the last couple of days when he knows it is bedtime.
We are still struggling with his "fits" ...he isn't sure of how to handle his frustrations or anger when things don't go exactly the way he wants them to....his natural instinct from the orphanage is to "fight to survive". They had to be strong willed to keep the toys they had or they might lose it to a bigger older kid! He is still not confident that we are not going to come up to him and take his things....so he will occasionally hit, throw, scream or open his mouth as he might bite. Our other three children never went through this so I am not completely sure of how to handle it! James Dobson to the Rescue!!! I am getting one of his books this week! I am using some of the methods taught to us through Growing Kids God's Way and they have been working. We used them on our other children and had much success with them. It is what we used on the bedtime training with Jake and he got it in two days! We have been correcting Jake in his fits and then he turns into a "noodle" and scoots across the floor screaming. Wow! It can be overwhelming at times but I have been staying very calm and helping him work through it. I know it sounds like he is having a hard time but I need to make myself clear that this has gone from numerous times a day to no more than 2-3 times a day. Most of the time he plays just fine and is very happy, giggly and cuddly. He will actually leave Rick long enough to go into the other rooms and play with the other children on his own and he has fun!
Today is my first day with Jake alone! Rick had to go back to work today and we took the other kids to ma and pa's house to be with all their cousins on New Years. We got home sooooo late last night and Jake is still sleeping! I can't wait to give him all of my attention and to see how he reacts when he has to be "totally" dependent on "mommy"! I pray he fully accepts me and gets an even stronger bond with me this week. Slow and steady wins the race and I am willing to do what it takes. I keep reminding myself that it is hard to trust women when you have been abandoned by your birth mother (for the hopes of a better life), the caregiver in the orphanage he was loved by so much gave him up for a better life (he doesn't understand that yet) SO, why would he trust this other new woman? He has been through a lot and I begin each day and end each day with a prayer for God to soften his heart to completely trust me and to give me the patience he will need from me until he is fully ready to totally accept me.
I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Year. We are excited to see what 2008 brings us. We know just having our family complete and together will bring us much joy. May God bless each of you.
Brothers!
Jake says "YEA" and Luke says "Do I have to share all my toys?"
Mommy on her birthday...best present ever....all my kids together!
Jake in his favorite spot...stuck on daddy like glue!
We are still struggling with his "fits" ...he isn't sure of how to handle his frustrations or anger when things don't go exactly the way he wants them to....his natural instinct from the orphanage is to "fight to survive". They had to be strong willed to keep the toys they had or they might lose it to a bigger older kid! He is still not confident that we are not going to come up to him and take his things....so he will occasionally hit, throw, scream or open his mouth as he might bite. Our other three children never went through this so I am not completely sure of how to handle it! James Dobson to the Rescue!!! I am getting one of his books this week! I am using some of the methods taught to us through Growing Kids God's Way and they have been working. We used them on our other children and had much success with them. It is what we used on the bedtime training with Jake and he got it in two days! We have been correcting Jake in his fits and then he turns into a "noodle" and scoots across the floor screaming. Wow! It can be overwhelming at times but I have been staying very calm and helping him work through it. I know it sounds like he is having a hard time but I need to make myself clear that this has gone from numerous times a day to no more than 2-3 times a day. Most of the time he plays just fine and is very happy, giggly and cuddly. He will actually leave Rick long enough to go into the other rooms and play with the other children on his own and he has fun!
Today is my first day with Jake alone! Rick had to go back to work today and we took the other kids to ma and pa's house to be with all their cousins on New Years. We got home sooooo late last night and Jake is still sleeping! I can't wait to give him all of my attention and to see how he reacts when he has to be "totally" dependent on "mommy"! I pray he fully accepts me and gets an even stronger bond with me this week. Slow and steady wins the race and I am willing to do what it takes. I keep reminding myself that it is hard to trust women when you have been abandoned by your birth mother (for the hopes of a better life), the caregiver in the orphanage he was loved by so much gave him up for a better life (he doesn't understand that yet) SO, why would he trust this other new woman? He has been through a lot and I begin each day and end each day with a prayer for God to soften his heart to completely trust me and to give me the patience he will need from me until he is fully ready to totally accept me.
I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Year. We are excited to see what 2008 brings us. We know just having our family complete and together will bring us much joy. May God bless each of you.
Brothers!
Jake says "YEA" and Luke says "Do I have to share all my toys?"
Mommy on her birthday...best present ever....all my kids together!
Jake in his favorite spot...stuck on daddy like glue!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
New Motto: One day at a time!
Well, with each day, things are getting a little smoother. It has taken me a while to find my way back to the computer but I actually found some time tonight. Never mind the kitchen, messy house and piles of laundry! Not only is Jake adjusting to his new life, we all are. He is a very sweet boy and is warming up a little more each day. He is so attached to Rick it has taken him a while to want to go to anyone else. Considering his past, he simply doesn't know who is truly "forever" and he doesn't want to let go of what he knows he loves and needs (to him it is his daddy). However, last night I was able to put him to bed and I was successful tonight too....not that it happened quickly...but it happened and with less tears tonight. He is even giving me hugs and kisses! Although I knew to expect this, it is harder for me than I expected. It was wonderful tonight when Rick was sitting in the same room and he came to me for something and didn't even seem to notice Rick! We were both thrilled! He loves his sisters and brother. It is taking everyone some adjusting to the fact that we can't just "get up and go" anymore...we have a new schedule and needs to be met. I must say the kids have been incredibly patient and understanding. We do know that with a lot of love, hugs and kisses.....oh and a lot of patience, things will continue to get better every day.
Jake is still off his schedule. He did so good sleeping in Vietnam but at home he thinks day is night and night is day. He has sat up in bed two nights now singing lullabies in Vietnamese and clapping his hands until 4:30 am. Needless to say, mommy has dark circles under her eyes and has worn sweat pants for two days! The sweetest moment was when I opened my eyes one night and he was staring at me and he said "ma ma"! He melted my heart.
Considering that he has grown up in an orphanage for the first 18 months of his life, we think he is doing great. There are a lot of things he must "relearn" but we are already working on them. Children in orphanages must learn to be "fighters" to survive....they have to fight to keep their toys, to get attention and some for nourishment. Jake is learning that he gets to keep his toys...no one is taking them away, to share other's toys (without hitting or yanking away) and that there is always food to eat....he sometimes will crawl under the table and eat crumbs off the floor even with a full tummy. He always cleans his plate and sometimes what is left on the other kid's plates! He still hides some of his new toys in "Jake piles" b/c he is afraid someone might take them. However, we can see that he is slowly beginning to trust us. And for those who have been following the blog....he now brushes his teeth! Yes, he will even show them to Rick and give him a big teeth smile!
Today was his first ride around town to get use to his carseat.....he hates being restrained! He doesn't like carseats or highchairs ...BUT....today we were successful with both....no tears in either seat! HOORAY! This was a big accomplishment for all of us! I know it sounds silly but we have learned that the littlest accomplishments mean soooo much to all of us. There are just so many things you have to deal with when you adopt a child who is a toddler and has been raised in an orphanage their whole life. However, I will tell you , with all the tears shed and lack of sleep....it is all worth it. He is such a blessing and he is a very happy little boy.
Jake is use to being the center of attention at the orphanage after being the "favorite" and he has had to learn that his siblings are important too. One thing he loved at the orphanage is the director would have Jake stand in the middle of a circle with all the other children and adults surrounding him and they would jump up and down with their hands in the air and shout "SON SON SON SON SON"! Jake would jump in the center and scream with excitement...it meant that he was being celebrated, exciting time, joy! Each evening we circle him and we all jump up and down and shout "JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE" .....he starts jumping up and down, screaming and clapping...he gets so excited. We want him to know he is special to all of us too. He has a great belly laugh and the most beautiful smile and he shares it with us most of the day. His excitement for life and his new family is so pure and it truly melts our hearts. Rick looked at me the other night, totally exhausted, and with his sweet sleepy eyes he was looking at Jake and said, "All he wants in life is to be loved". We promise to love him our entire lives and it was our mission when we decided to adopt that if we could make the difference in even one child's life to let them know we believe it is so important to feel loved and to know God's love, then we have served our purpose. Please continue to pray for each of us as we adjust to our new life as a family of 6. For those of you who missed CBS news special on Jake's arrival home you can click on the link below. I haven't been able to get a link to the ABC story.
Family Gets Long Awaited Christmas Present
http://www.kfsm.com/Global/story.asp?s=7537489
or
http://www.kfsm.com
Oh, and to all the mother's of internationally adopted children that I have met through Children's Hope International who have been writing me, thank you for words of encouragement and advice. You have made each day so much easier for us. I have reread many of your letters over and over. You are an incredible source of support!
Jake is still off his schedule. He did so good sleeping in Vietnam but at home he thinks day is night and night is day. He has sat up in bed two nights now singing lullabies in Vietnamese and clapping his hands until 4:30 am. Needless to say, mommy has dark circles under her eyes and has worn sweat pants for two days! The sweetest moment was when I opened my eyes one night and he was staring at me and he said "ma ma"! He melted my heart.
Considering that he has grown up in an orphanage for the first 18 months of his life, we think he is doing great. There are a lot of things he must "relearn" but we are already working on them. Children in orphanages must learn to be "fighters" to survive....they have to fight to keep their toys, to get attention and some for nourishment. Jake is learning that he gets to keep his toys...no one is taking them away, to share other's toys (without hitting or yanking away) and that there is always food to eat....he sometimes will crawl under the table and eat crumbs off the floor even with a full tummy. He always cleans his plate and sometimes what is left on the other kid's plates! He still hides some of his new toys in "Jake piles" b/c he is afraid someone might take them. However, we can see that he is slowly beginning to trust us. And for those who have been following the blog....he now brushes his teeth! Yes, he will even show them to Rick and give him a big teeth smile!
Today was his first ride around town to get use to his carseat.....he hates being restrained! He doesn't like carseats or highchairs ...BUT....today we were successful with both....no tears in either seat! HOORAY! This was a big accomplishment for all of us! I know it sounds silly but we have learned that the littlest accomplishments mean soooo much to all of us. There are just so many things you have to deal with when you adopt a child who is a toddler and has been raised in an orphanage their whole life. However, I will tell you , with all the tears shed and lack of sleep....it is all worth it. He is such a blessing and he is a very happy little boy.
Jake is use to being the center of attention at the orphanage after being the "favorite" and he has had to learn that his siblings are important too. One thing he loved at the orphanage is the director would have Jake stand in the middle of a circle with all the other children and adults surrounding him and they would jump up and down with their hands in the air and shout "SON SON SON SON SON"! Jake would jump in the center and scream with excitement...it meant that he was being celebrated, exciting time, joy! Each evening we circle him and we all jump up and down and shout "JAKE JAKE JAKE JAKE" .....he starts jumping up and down, screaming and clapping...he gets so excited. We want him to know he is special to all of us too. He has a great belly laugh and the most beautiful smile and he shares it with us most of the day. His excitement for life and his new family is so pure and it truly melts our hearts. Rick looked at me the other night, totally exhausted, and with his sweet sleepy eyes he was looking at Jake and said, "All he wants in life is to be loved". We promise to love him our entire lives and it was our mission when we decided to adopt that if we could make the difference in even one child's life to let them know we believe it is so important to feel loved and to know God's love, then we have served our purpose. Please continue to pray for each of us as we adjust to our new life as a family of 6. For those of you who missed CBS news special on Jake's arrival home you can click on the link below. I haven't been able to get a link to the ABC story.
Family Gets Long Awaited Christmas Present
http://www.kfsm.com/Global/story.asp?s=7537489
or
http://www.kfsm.com
Oh, and to all the mother's of internationally adopted children that I have met through Children's Hope International who have been writing me, thank you for words of encouragement and advice. You have made each day so much easier for us. I have reread many of your letters over and over. You are an incredible source of support!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Another interview for ABC
I just wanted to let you know that our local ABC channel 40/29 ...channel 7 if you have cable.....will be airing another interview on Christmas at either 6 pm or 10 pm. They are making it their Christmas story. We are all very tired but glad to have done the interviews. Jake is adjusting but still a little unsure of all of his new surroundings and family. He is now getting a cold and not feeling the greatest. He is still stuck to Rick like glue! I will update more later....just been very very busy since they got back. Kids can't wait to open presents. Have a very Merry Christmas and I hope to post new pictures soon. Natalie
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Bringing Jake Home Televised Tonight
Just letting everyone know in Fort Smith that two news stations were at the airport last night filming "Bringing Jake Home" and Channel 5 was here today. They will be airing the story tonight on channel 5 at 10 pm. Natalie
Saturday, December 22, 2007
In Flight from LA to Dallas
Just letting everyone know that is following the blog and curious about their arrival that they are in flight from LA to Dallas. Their flights have been delayed due to the strong winds. We don't know when or if they will get to leave Dallas yet. We are all about to go crazy around here right now! We are hesitant to leave for Fayetteville just yet and will follow more closely as the time gets near. We received a call from Channel 5 today and have been asked to do a story our on adoption journey and they may be at the airport tonight. If it gets too late, they are planning on being at our house tomorrow at 1 pm to do an interview. I know they are all going to be so tired but thought it would make a nice positive Christmas story. Please pray for safe flights during this bad weather. Anxiously awaiting, Natalie
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